dmd.hashw

Month

January 2010

87 posts

Jan 31, 20102 notes
#minneapolis #university of minnesota #things in minneapolis #mississippi #minnesota #southeast steamplant #mass-transit
Jan 31, 2010124 notes
Jan 30, 20101 note
#35w bridge #engineering #minneapolis #minnesota #mississippi #things in minneapolis

Leonardo da Vinci’s Resume Explains Why He’s The Renaissance Man For the Job

Most Illustrious Lord, Having now sufficiently considered the specimens of all those who proclaim themselves skilled contrivers of instruments of war, and that the invention and operation of the said instruments are nothing different from those in common use: I shall endeavor, without prejudice to any one else, to explain myself to your Excellency, showing your Lordship my secret, and then offering them to your best pleasure and approbation to work with effect at opportune moments on all those things which, in part, shall be briefly noted below.

1. I have a sort of extremely light and strong bridges, adapted to be most easily carried, and with them you may pursue, and at any time flee from the enemy; and others, secure and indestructible by fire and battle, easy and convenient to lift and place. Also methods of burning and destroying those of the enemy.

2. I know how, when a place is besieged, to take the water out of the trenches, and make endless variety of bridges, and covered ways and ladders, and other machines pertaining to such expeditions.

3. If, by reason of the height of the banks, or the strength of the place and its position, it is impossible, when besieging a place, to avail oneself of the plan of bombardment, I have methods for destroying every rock or other fortress, even if it were founded on a rock, etc.

4. Again, I have kinds of mortars; most convenient and easy to carry; and with these I can fling small stones almost resembling a storm; and with the smoke of these cause great terror to the enemy, to his great detriment and confusion.

5. And if the fight should be at sea I have kinds of many machines most efficient for offense and defense; and vessels which will resist the attack of the largest guns and powder and fumes.

6. I have means by secret and tortuous mines and ways, made without noise, to reach a designated spot, even if it were needed to pass under a trench or a river.

7. I will make covered chariots, safe and unattackable, which, entering among the enemy with their artillery, there is no body of men so great but they would break them. And behind these, infantry could follow quite unhurt and without any hindrance.

8. In case of need I will make big guns, mortars, and light ordnance of fine and useful forms, out of the common type.

9. Where the operation of bombardment might fail, I would contrive catapults, mangonels, trabocchi, and other machines of marvellous efficacy and not in common use. And in short, according to the variety of cases, I can contrive various and endless means of offense and defense.

10. In times of peace I believe I can give perfect satisfaction and to the equal of any other in architecture and the composition of buildings public and private; and in guiding water from one place to another.

11. I can carry out sculpture in marble, bronze, or clay, and also I can do in painting whatever may be done, as well as any other, be he who he may.

Again, the bronze horse may be taken in hand, which is to be to the immortal glory and eternal honor of the prince your father of happy memory, and of the illustrious house of Sforza.

And if any of the above-named things seem to anyone to be impossible or not feasible, I am most ready to make the experiment in your park, or in whatever place may please your Excellency - to whom I comment myself with the utmost humility, etc.

Jan 30, 20101 note
#da vinci #gizmodo #jobs
Jan 30, 2010
#lego #Atlantis #aquarium #fluval edge
Jan 29, 2010812 notes
#space #mars rover #nasa
Play
Jan 28, 2010
#the truman show #hulu #voyeur #wtf
Jan 28, 20102 notes
#dinner #lego #archer farms #indiana jones
Jan 28, 2010
#lg #pets #cats
Jan 28, 201017 notes
#mass transit #future

absoluticris:

“How do I know” a poem by Google.

How do I know
…if he loves me
…if she likes me
…if I have herpes
…if I’m pregnant
…if my dog is pregnant
…if I have swine flu

Jan 27, 201051 notes
#google #lulz
Jan 27, 20103 notes
#architecture #downtown #foshay #history #minneapolis #minnesota #things in minneapolis
Play
Jan 27, 20103 notes
#engineering #wired #industrial revolution #future
Jan 27, 2010
#iPad #iTampon #apple #lulz
Jan 27, 20101 note
#iPad #apple #computer #tablet
Jan 27, 2010
#lego #district 9 #moc
Jan 26, 20106 notes
#architecture #downtown #history #minneapolis #minnesota #things in minneapolis
A Proper Rejection

jackiesiewert:

Dear [LOSER]:

Thank you for taking the time to apply for the position of [CRAPPY JOB]. We greatly appreciate your interest in joining [OUR TEAM OF BUTT-WIPES WHO ARE BETTER THAN YOU]!

We are fortunate to have received a large number of highly qualified applicants for this position. It is our top priority to select a candidate who best matches the skills and experience required to excel in this position [BLAH, BLAH, BLAH]. While we were impressed with your qualifications, after careful consideration we have decided to pursue other candidates [WHO HAPPEN TO BE SCREWING OUR CEOs]. We appreciate your interest in [OUR AFOREMENTIONED TEAM OF BUTT-WIPES] and the [AFOREMENTIONED CRAPPY JOB] position, and we wish you the best of luck in your continued job search and future endeavors.

Sincerely,

[HR DEPT. OF AFOREMENTIONED BUTT-WIPES WHO DON’T CARE ABOUT YOU]

Jan 26, 2010
#form-letter #lulz #unemployment
“The woman in this photo is perfect, but she needs to be disabled. Can you photoshop her so she only has one arm?” —(via clientsfromhell)
Jan 26, 201077 notes
Jan 25, 201053 notes
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